“Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now.”

—Audre Lorde

Sex Therapy

Sex Therapy

We have specialized training and expertise to help you address your sexual concerns. Many people feel intimidated or shy to begin addressing such personal issues in psychotherapy, but our clients tell us that our directness and easy manner in discussing sexual issues helps them feel more comfortable within the first session or two. Our relational orientation means that we will be carefully tracking the relationship and each partner’s experience as we go; it’s not just a question of how to change a behavior or a symptom as though no people are attached! We hold an appreciation for the breadth of human sexual experience and embrace an affirmative, sex-positive, and non-shaming perspective.

Sexual issues addressed include:

  • Sexual pain
  • Impact on sexual functioning or satisfaction related to medical or health problems
  • Couple communication problems around sex
  • Desire concerns, including discrepant desire in couples
  • Difficulty with arousal, including problems with erections
  • Difficulty with orgasms
  • Rapid (‘premature’) or delayed ejaculation
  • Sexual changes with aging; menopause and sexuality
  • Low pleasure
  • Couples with differing sexual templates or styles
  • Fears about or difficulty tolerating gynecological exams
  • Sexual shame
  • Concerns about fantasies
  • Concerns around sexual orientation or gender, coming out
  • Concerns around kink or kink discordance
  • Problems with sexual compulsivity

Sex therapy is like all other psychotherapy: we talk about what’s happening for you. (There is no touch or nudity involved in sex therapy.) We will ask you many questions to help us develop a better understanding of the problem. It is essential that we consider physical/biological, emotional, psychological, and relational aspects of your experience. Some sexual problems come from a single source, but many are multi-determined. Once we have a clear picture of what is happening, we will make a plan for how to address it, which often involves out-of-session homework. It is important that we pace the therapy to suit each client, so whatever assignments we develop should not be overwhelming, and will respect your boundaries and comfort. While there are some core exercises at the foundation of sex therapy, we always tailor the plan to our clients’ particular needs and contexts.

When there is a relationship involved, it is often preferred to see the partners together, even if it seems like the focus is more on one person. However, we do see individuals for sex therapy as well. We can discuss your circumstances and wishes when we set up the first appointment.

Evanston Relational Psychotherapy is LGBTQ-affirmative and welcomes people of all genders, sexual orientations, relationship configurations, and lifestyles.